Beautiful spring day with my partner in crime (at Fordham University - Lincoln Center)
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
A special present for you- I took a vacation to New York
"My wife is in the hospital right now with double pneumonia. Her kidneys failed on Wednesday, and she can’t talk anymore. But I know she can hear me. I go in every day and talk into her ear."
"How did you meet her?"
"I was sitting on the stoop just like this. It was 1960. I was fourteen and just sitting on the stoop of my house, and this bodacious girl came up. Big legs, big thighs, and jeans so tight that I didn’t know how she was walking down the road. She came right up and sat on my lap and didn’t leave until the sun went down. A few years later we had a kid. And I stayed with her. It wasn’t always great but I stayed with her.”
"When I get really angry, I start crying. It sucks. Everyone else gets to yell and be scary. I have to be like: ‘No! I don’t want a tissue! Quit comforting me! I’m angry, I swear!’"
"Let me tell you what’s happening to me. I’m on the PTA at my child’s school, the Secondary School of Journalism in Park Slope. I’m currently advocating on behalf of my child, and seventeen other children whose parents don’t speak English. These kids are from Ecuador, Peru, El Salvador, Dominican Republic, everywhere. These kids have all done very well on their Regent’s exams— I’m talking 90/95th percentile. Very smart kids. They were on their way toward qualifying for an Advanced Regents government scholarship,that would give their parents badly needed money to help in their education. But the fine print of that scholarship says the children need three full years of a foreign language.
And the principal at the school FIRED the Spanish teacher. She is not hiring another foreign language teacher for an entire year, effectively disqualifying all these kids from that scholarship they need. When we try to talk with her about it, she acts like she doesn’t owe us an explanation. When we try to call the Board of Education, they tell us to put it in writing. They get us all excited. They have us think if we write a nice letter, and use good grammar, and use all the correct punctuation, something will happen. Meanwhile another year passes, and nothing. And the kids don’t get their scholarship. You know something like this would never happen at a nice Manhattan school like Stuyvesant.
We’ve got a new mayor and a new chancellor. So we aren’t blaming them. But they need to know how impossible they’ve made it to help our kids. Trying to get something fixed in these schools is like praying to some false God. You call and email hoping that God is listening, and nothing happens. Meanwhile the kids suffer. All these parents that I’m representing are good, simple people. They say: ‘Don’t worry Annette, God is going to fix it. God will make it right.’ I love them. And I love God. But I tell them: ‘God won’t fix it! We’ve got to fix it!’”
"I’m learning to be more careful with my words. Words that seem meaningless at the time can end up having a lot of power. Seeds that you didn’t even intend to plant can fall off you and start growing in people."
"Where I grew up, everyone wanted to be the hardest thug. I just want to be an Average Joe. My goal is to get to a place where I can wake up knowing that I’ll be fine if I don’t make any money today."
"It started around 6th grade. I started to notice that when I’d talk to certain girls, my heart would start beating faster, and I’d get butterflies in my stomach. And that never happened with guys."
"We met when she came into a thrift store where I worked. We both loved clothes and dancing. She’s my best friend, my roommate, and my wife. I’m not even joking, we’ve been legally married for 14 years."